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Nashville

Courtney came down the stairs like it was Christmas morning. She was young, attractive, with a face full of freckles and shoulders to match. She was going to ruin my life.

“Welcome to NashVegas! Want a beer?”
“Is wrestling fixed?”
“The kitchen’s this way…I’ll give you the dime tour.”

She had very small breasts, and was wearing a striped tube top that she was constantly pulling up. It was a poor choice for a girl with that kind of figure, but she seemed to manage it well. And besides, all that tugging was really doing it for me.

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2 Notes
BillTaichi 11 months ago

Ok I love this line:

"She was young, attractive, with a face full of freckles and shoulders to match. She was going to ruin my life." That says so much...

Nate 10 months ago

The dialogue is a little confusing for me, because it feels like a series of non sequitor. The last line is great, really tells a lot about the narrator.

sanmiguel responded 10 months ago

Thanks for the feedback my good man!

I know exactly what you mean about the dialogue and I had a funny feeling from the start. I wanted it to come off as being more rapid fire...like Mickey Spillane, or something. That's how I saw the narrator.