The Spoils
by sanmiguel

Laura sat cross-legged, digging through their record collection.

“Some of these Van Halens are mine” she said
“The Hagars are. Leave the Diamond Daves…those are mine.”

The rain was smashing against the windows and she never felt so lost. All she knew was that she was homeless now and he would never trust her again. She took her time flipping through the platters, pulling out the occasional Replacements and Hüsker Dü.

“What about Elvis?” she asked, looking up at him.
It was the first time she looked into his eyes all day.
“Elvis stays…Presley AND Costello.”

Written almost 2 years ago
Tags no tags entered

2 Notes

frombytherivertrash almost 2 years ago

the real problem is outlined by the split down the middle in van halen albums. i like the last line - a real bite of anger after the first meeting of eyes.

sanmiguel responded almost 2 years ago

Thanks for the note...I'm glad you dig!

The Halen thing was inspired by an actual discussion I had with an old girlfriend. She actually preferred Hagar, if you can imagine such a thing. I threw in a couple of Minnesota bands as well, hoping to get into Nate's good books.

Nate almost 2 years ago

Look at all of those Minnesota bands being mentioned! :P

I really, really dig the dialogue exchanges in this story, and that "smashing" verb for the rain. I wonder if the two most important details in the two sentences in the third paragraph are the rain and the lost trust. I say this because the homelessness / trust seems to explain the feeling lost, yet with the rest of the story being so minimalist, it feels like her feeling is being explained three times. I wonder if a combined sentence like, "The rain was smashing against the windows and she knew he would never trust her again."

You'll have to forgive me, I'm in English composition essay-grading mode! :)

Want to leave a note?

Sorry, but you must login or sign up to write notes to our writers.