The Future Is Certain, Part III
by Nate

The future is certain.

Earth's atmosphere is forever painted with a fresh hint of mint after the Great Certs Wars of 2035. The hole over the ozone layer in Antarctica is renamed The Oblate Altoid.

Our taste for potato chips is replaced by our lust for buffalo chips. Every flavor exists by 2055 save for Sea Salt & Vinegar, a varietal that isn't perfected until 2087.

Ants are able to lift 800 trillion times their size in 2017, effectively and ironically crushing the human-labor driven construction industry under their industrious boots. They strike in 2018.

The future is certain.

Written over 1 year ago
Tags fiction future war certain altoid ants vinegar buffalo

1 Note

CauterizetheCacophony over 1 year ago

I have to tell you that I'm a sucker for your The Future is Certain stories. I can never quite tell if you're making fun of all the changes in the world, or celebrating them.

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