The Guy Who Had Everything
by afarrell30

I was down in Upper Volta sitting at the bar when a guy came up to me and said
"I have everything!"
"O yeah? Do you have matching luggage?"
"Matching everything!" He was bouncing around excitedly, goading me forward.
"Do you have race car with seats of Himalayan goat leather?"
"Why of course!"
"How about a pure-bred male siamese hairless with a ruby necklace named Mrs. Jones?"
"I've got 2!"
"Yeah?...well...what about a signed photograph of the Queen and Bozo playing basketball with a coconut?"
"Signed by whom?"
"Cher!"
"Indubitably"
Geez, I guess he does have everything.

Written over 1 year ago
Tags Burkina Faso wealth Cher

1 Note

Barry over 1 year ago

This is probably the most unique set of tags on a Scrawlers story. Love it!

I would like to see true paragraph spacing in the dialog. It displays kind of compressed. I think it would flow better with more vertical spacing.

Also, I believe "2" should be spelled out as "two" in this case. Small numbers in writing tend to be spelled out.

The back-and-forth dialog is nicely done. And the entire piece is off-the-wall. Good work!

afarrell30 responded over 1 year ago

You're right. Paragraph spacing does help. And I thought about changing the 2 but didn't, but again you are right. Should have. Thanks for the note about the dialog. Writing dialog has been a problem of mine, one I will continue to work on.

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