Note on The Future Is Certain, Part III
The future is certain.
Earth's atmosphere is forever painted with a fresh hint of mint after the Great Certs Wars of 2035. The hole over the ozone layer in Antarctica is renamed The Oblate Altoid.
Our taste for potato chips is replaced by our lust for buffalo chips. Every flavor exists by 2055 save for Sea Salt & Vinegar, a varietal that isn't perfected until 2087.
Ants are able to lift 800 trillion times their size in 2017, effectively and ironically crushing the human-labor driven construction industry under their industrious boots. They strike in 2018.
The future is certain.
I have to tell you that I'm a sucker for your The Future is Certain stories. I can never quite tell if you're making fun of all the changes in the world, or celebrating them.
Note on Collapse in Turin
It's said that Nietzsche lost his mind in 1889 while strolling through the streets of Turin. Having seen the all-too-common sight of man beating his horse, he rushed towards the beast and flung himself around it's neck. After attracting the gaze of every passer-by, he collapsed onto the brick walk-way, having slipped irretrievably away from reality to his unfortunate end.
That day, the third of January, the crowd of two or three dozen people dispersed not knowing what they had really seen. What appeared as a senseless tragedy was the end of a great mind.
I love how you say senseless tragedy. It's basically a paradox that happens all to often in this world. By nature a tragedy is not senseless. You gave the tone of this story something very stoic and I really appreciated it.
Note on Followers
My brother told me there were many kinds of ghosts.
"The only one you need to worry about are the Followers. You know when you're standing in a dark room convinced there's something behind you? Followers."
His voice trailed off. When it came back it was fainter.
"They're usually harmless, but if you're stuck with them for too long you go crazy."
Fainter still...
"Some people claw all the skin off the back of their neck trying to get rid of them."
Silence. Then the lights went off and he locked the door behind him.
This story absolutely gives me the chills. It's something that's so real in life that it's creepy. When I first read it I had to impression that the narrarator was shut in the room with the brother, and the brother was slowly going crazy like he was talking about.
Note on Ketchup
There's a chef in New York City who secretly loves ketchup. She knows if anyone in the world of the culinary caught wind of this, she would be ruined like an overdone souffle. She dreamed once of being at dinner with the greatest chefs of all time when one of them asks the server for ketchup. Everyone laughs and chimes in their agreement. "I thought it was just me," she says, as the great chef slathers ketchup on her steak. When she woke up, she told herself she would have ketchup anytime without fear. But she never does.
I love your comparison of the chef being compared to an overdone souffle. It's quirky and very topic friendly. The theme of your story is something simple (BUT FREAKING AWESOME, but it really relates to the world and how people are scared. The last time makes me really sad. To be so in love and have to hide it.
Note on How To Make A Woman Happy
Its not difficult to make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
a friend
a companion
a lover
a master
a chef
a healer
a good listener
a psychologist
an organizer
clean
sympathetic
warm
attentive
intelligent
funny
creative
tender
strong
understanding
tolerant
ambitious
true
capable
passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
give her compliments regularly
be honest
not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
give her lots of time, especially time for herself
give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
Never to forget:
birthdays
anniversaries
arrangements she makes
I really liked your story! You put a very sarcastic edge to it, without coming straight out and saying it. Your informal list form made it really easy to read, and kept in simple. I think keeping most punctuation out of your story was a good idea.
Note on The Receiver by Mike
Day 18: I figure I have about a good four foot buffer until I start to pick up on the thought patterns. Generally by the time I'm within arms length it moves well beyond patterns and feelings and ends up pure lucid thoughts.
The lady in line at Target scared the hell out of me. All she could think about was shooting her husband with his own gun. I watched her get in her car and was tempted to follow her home. I can't seduce myself to get involved. How do I incorporate this burden into my life?
I love it. It's amazing the feelings one can get from an incredibly short story. The way you write makes me feel that I really understand this person's thoughts and feelings. The story almost gives me an eerie feeling in my stomach that I like very much.